sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
