I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
