If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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