I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
