put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...