I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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