and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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