He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize