It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
