Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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