Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
