I cockslap morals
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I fill condoms, not promises.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize