Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize