Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
