I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
