I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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