I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
