i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
