so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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