I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize