What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
