do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Couch. On fire.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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