so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
