So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
