hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
