If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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