out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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