Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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