i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
