So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
