"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize