you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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