shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
