you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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