just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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