its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.