the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
