Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
