yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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