very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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