I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize