I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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