Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
