Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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