brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
