Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
