kristin has been a bad kristin
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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