I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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