I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
