There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize