So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
