It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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