yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
