she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
