do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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