the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There are leaves in my underwear?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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