i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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