Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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