He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
