She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
