Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I bet he comes in French.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize