did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
