listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize