Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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