but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His nipple licking is glorious
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