WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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